Location: Gilbert, AZ

I am a writer, a photographer, and a Dork Chop FO-tog. I can be found on FB at and also on Flickr at Mostly I capture what I see from my perspective.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Genetic Testing...before it is too late!!

It seems though every year, a new reason I should not have had children pops up.
Lately, it seems to be recessive gene city at my house. My daughter has just been diagnosed with Von Hillebrant disease. It is a bleeding disorder that is genetic. I am sure that my husbands' first thought was "Which one of the two of us is chock full of recessive and otherwise undesirable genetic material?!?". 

I know for sure that I passed on tongue curling, nostril flaring, hairy knuckles and a middle toe that is shorter that all the other toes. But when I last checked, my blood clotted just fine. What I don't know, is why these genetic 'incompatibility' issues were not brought to my attention before the actual human children were created - because clearly, it is too late to consider whether or not combining DNA with my husband would, in fact, be a good idea. 

There really should be some type of test to ensure sound DNA offspring. 

Maybe a saliva test that you could take and find out PRIOR to the child creation that you will have a raging, near sighted, short toed, moody monster -  who is a hairy knuckled, tongue curling, nostril flaring girl who has weak platelets.  

A test where you could take a moment to reflect on the importance of good 'genes' not good 'jeans'. My husband has always looked good in 'jeans', but his 'genes' MAY be to blame for the creatures in my house being recessive pools of their own genetic inadequacies.  

I created it, so it would be unfair to leave it, but in my fantasy flight for freedom, I would chew through duct tape, hitchhike through a third world country, with a yodeler who was addicted to rap -  if I thought I could get away.  

Both of my children required expensive speech therapy intervention when they failed to begin speaking at the 'typical' age. I feel completely vindicated in that region. A lack of talking has NEVER been my problem, but my husband is the silent moody type, so, without a doubt that one is squarely on his shoulders. 

My son was just diagnosed with a pituitary gland malfunction by which his little gland was producing exactly NONE of the growth hormone needed for growth. He spent all of his 11th year at the same exact height. 

Since that is a typically a time of growth for boys, that was startling. We are giving him nightly injections and he has responded nicely…HOWEVER…my husband is 5'7", and I am 5'2"…who passed on the lack of growth?  

While the endocrinologist assures us that it is not hereditary and there is no documented cause for the failure of his pituitary gland, I am quite suspicious.  

My father in law is very short, my sister in law is very short, and my husband is short for a guy. While I am short, my 'little' sister is nearly 5'8", and my dad is 6'2". Hmmm…I am thinking my husband gets pegged with this passed on 'nugget' as well.  

It seems only fair to me that the one who contributed THE MOST genetic garbage should have to tend to it, while the other injured party should be allowed to escape unscathed.  
Short toes and hairy knuckles seem a tad bit minor if you ask me. 

The rest of me is perfectly perfect. Not a cross or disagreeable bone in my body anywhere. I am so perfect, and my face in is the dictionary if you look up 'perfect' in the Webster's Dictionary. Oh…. Also…did I mention that my daughter is very vain and over confident?!?…. Ooooops… guess that one is mine….

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